I had dinner with mom, shut the door to my room. By the time I sat down on my bed, I had the blue pill in my hand. A groundstaff at Calcutta had passed me the pill with the whisper: ''Try this sir. Nothing to match this one in the market.'' It cost me Rs 2,000 just for one pill, but then, what is money to me? I've just signed a Rs 1 crore endorsement deal with a sports shoe company and a soft drink. I am rolling in money.
The groundstaff had warned me that I should not eat much before taking the pill, but hey life is for risks, right? After all, my mom had cooked bisibele bath for me and of course I had to eat that. I grinned foolishly at the pill, took my bottle of water and swallowed it down in one gulp. Blue, hmm, this is a new colour. Marketing, even in the shady underworld, was always the last word.
A warm tingly feeling started up from my toes as I lay down on the bed. Interesting, I thought, and shut my eyes. Whoosh, it was like going down an endless tunnel of white light at top speed. I put out my hands to the sides, trying to control the speed as my stomach turned upside down. I was nauseated, and felt all the bisibele bath coming up to my throat. Suddenly, white tunnel split into colours and became an eight cornered box all around me. I was suspended mid-air, slowly turning around, seeing my room, all the colours -- red-- yellow-- orange -- blue -- violet -- green -- all fluorescent, washing one into the other, the whole universe brightly lit.
And emerging from those colours was the face I always saw, the face I was always trying to forget, the face that pushed me into these drugs in the first place. Achala, Cream.. no Ratan's girlfriend.. she called him Ratan, not Cream like the rest of us. Of all the people in the world, did I have to fall in love with my best friend's girlfriend? A heartless girl, that is what she was. I had gone all the way to Malaysia just to speak to her, and she slammed the door in my face. Ratan had said it was ok if she and I got together, but did she listen? No. She threw us both out of her life. And I was left hanging, gasping for breath, with even my best friend hostile and unhappy with me..
I shook my head, feeling the air stir all around me and my hair stand on end as the bright colours continued to suck in my eyes. I was still suspended, still in a cocoon, but her face was slowing coming closer and closer. I knew what to expect.. soon her face would surround me and I would crash down, sick and desperate, with no way to get in or out of the situation..
I frowned. There was some change this time. Very strange indeed. It had started out as Achala's face, the familiar lines, the strong nose, the long hair, the fair skin. And slowly it had started to change into a darker skin share, the nose slightly different, the eyes a bit bigger, the knowledge in them a bit older, the hair short, cut just below the skin.. what was this new face? I blinked, even in the daze, as slowly an old memory began to get replaced by a much newer one. And I knew. This was the face of that media woman I invited to dinner.. and yes, she looked like Achala. Was that why I invited her?
The face loomed larger and larger as it took over my being and I floated along, aware that any time now, I would drop down to earth and struggle with cramps in my own bed. But this feeling of peace was amazing, something I could hold on to.. was this strange woman the answer to all my problems? A woman I didn't know, whose name I had no idea about.. why was she affecting me like this? Who was she?
The groundstaff had warned me that I should not eat much before taking the pill, but hey life is for risks, right? After all, my mom had cooked bisibele bath for me and of course I had to eat that. I grinned foolishly at the pill, took my bottle of water and swallowed it down in one gulp. Blue, hmm, this is a new colour. Marketing, even in the shady underworld, was always the last word.
A warm tingly feeling started up from my toes as I lay down on the bed. Interesting, I thought, and shut my eyes. Whoosh, it was like going down an endless tunnel of white light at top speed. I put out my hands to the sides, trying to control the speed as my stomach turned upside down. I was nauseated, and felt all the bisibele bath coming up to my throat. Suddenly, white tunnel split into colours and became an eight cornered box all around me. I was suspended mid-air, slowly turning around, seeing my room, all the colours -- red-- yellow-- orange -- blue -- violet -- green -- all fluorescent, washing one into the other, the whole universe brightly lit.
And emerging from those colours was the face I always saw, the face I was always trying to forget, the face that pushed me into these drugs in the first place. Achala, Cream.. no Ratan's girlfriend.. she called him Ratan, not Cream like the rest of us. Of all the people in the world, did I have to fall in love with my best friend's girlfriend? A heartless girl, that is what she was. I had gone all the way to Malaysia just to speak to her, and she slammed the door in my face. Ratan had said it was ok if she and I got together, but did she listen? No. She threw us both out of her life. And I was left hanging, gasping for breath, with even my best friend hostile and unhappy with me..
I shook my head, feeling the air stir all around me and my hair stand on end as the bright colours continued to suck in my eyes. I was still suspended, still in a cocoon, but her face was slowing coming closer and closer. I knew what to expect.. soon her face would surround me and I would crash down, sick and desperate, with no way to get in or out of the situation..
I frowned. There was some change this time. Very strange indeed. It had started out as Achala's face, the familiar lines, the strong nose, the long hair, the fair skin. And slowly it had started to change into a darker skin share, the nose slightly different, the eyes a bit bigger, the knowledge in them a bit older, the hair short, cut just below the skin.. what was this new face? I blinked, even in the daze, as slowly an old memory began to get replaced by a much newer one. And I knew. This was the face of that media woman I invited to dinner.. and yes, she looked like Achala. Was that why I invited her?
The face loomed larger and larger as it took over my being and I floated along, aware that any time now, I would drop down to earth and struggle with cramps in my own bed. But this feeling of peace was amazing, something I could hold on to.. was this strange woman the answer to all my problems? A woman I didn't know, whose name I had no idea about.. why was she affecting me like this? Who was she?
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